There are many reasons why you want to talk to women. But it all boils down to a common theme.
You probably want a loving girlfriend who will cherish you. Or maybe you want something casual and sleep around. You want a woman to be with you.
Men want to talk to women, and all they want is to get that woman to like them.
But all they focus on is how to get the girl interested. What to say? What if they get rejected? What if she says this or that? And how not to look like a stupid idiot.
Those are important things, but if you focus on the goal, it’ll all align. You won’t need to bother with that stuff.
They need to remember that to achieve their desired outcome; they need to follow a series of steps that will lead them there.
It’s like a game. You need to clear the first level before getting to the second.
You might skip some steps because you’ve done a great job on the first. You might repeat the same level over and over until you perfected it. But you can’t jump to the final step in one go.
Let’s show you what you need to focus on to fulfill your goal of meeting women.
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Why having goals is important?
Many men need help approaching women and getting their attention, interest, and attraction.
They often get stuck in the conversation, trying to keep it going or trying to see if the woman is interested in them.
They may forget about their goals or don’t have any clear goals at all. This can lead to frustration, confusion, and rejection.
Having goals in approaching women helps you move things forward and avoid getting stuck in the conversation.
Goals are the targets toward which you point your actions and behaviors.
They help you create a road map for success and guide your actions and behaviors. They allow you to measure your progress and celebrate your achievements.
Not having goals is like building a house, yet starting with the roof. It’s like learning to drive and immediately go out on the highway.
If you stick with this guide, you’ll have a roadmap for approaching a girl.
Maybe last month, you couldn’t even walk up to women because of shyness and anxiety. But now you can. Perhaps a week ago, you couldn’t get a girl’s number. But now you have a couple in your phonebook.
Achieving the small steps leads to success.
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What should be your goals when approaching women?
Catch her attention.
The first goal is to get their attention. A simple wave could do, a nod, or maybe say hi. That’s it.
You don’t need complex pickup lines. But a friendly and open body language would do.
You don’t need to think about making her laugh or making a good impression.
Stop thinking about getting her number or being afraid of rejection.
This goal is to make her stop what she’s doing and make her attention focused on you.
Time it takes: Around 5 seconds
Establish you’re a normal guy
Show that you’re socially savvy and trustworthy. Don’t stare, glare, or grin creepily.
Continue giving light-hearted jokes or compliments.
Demonstrate that you know dating etiquette and respect her boundaries. Don’t interrupt, interrogate, or dominate the conversation.
Suppose you feel like she’s surprised by your approach, back a little. “Sorry, I startled you. I’m usually smooth with girls.” Deliver this line like you obviously joking. Then smile.
“I’m John. Nice to meet you.” Sometimes, a simple introduction will make her open up more and let her guard down.
“I’m sorry to bother you. I have to go in a minute, but I just wanted to introduce myself.” Another simple and safe line that always works.
Time it takes: Around half a minute or even less.
Keep them interested.
Once you got their attention. You must get them hooked. This is where a clever, funny line could be handy.
Something that could make them laugh or smile. Or maybe something that could brighten up their day.
Show them you are a fun, friendly, and desirable person.
“I can’t keep my eyes on you… since seeing you a few seconds ago.”
Try to flirt. You can use kind of risky lines.
Time it takes: Around half a minute or more.
Getting the number
It’s as simple as, “Hey, let me get your number.”
Most women would actually say yes to this. To be honest, I haven’t been turned down when I asked for a girl’s number.
I could get turned down when walking up to them, but when you’re already at this stage? You already got her attention.
She’s thinking, “We’ll he seems like a nice guy, this is just something innocent.”
If you’ve made a great impression, or even just a decent one, she’ll most likely give you her number.
Don’t fret on how to ask. Just ask. “Before I go, let me get your number.”
Time it takes: Around half a minute or more.
Have an exit strategy.
Whether she says she has a boyfriend or had fun and given you her number, it’s best that you have a plan to leave things in a good way.
“That’s all right. Have a nice day.” Tell this when a woman has communicated that she’s not interested. Maybe she has a boyfriend or is too busy to talk to you. It’s all right. You’ll have another chance.
When she gives you her number say something like, “I don’t want to keep you. But I’ll send you a pic of my dog so you’ll know it’s me.” Say something that will make her excited of your text.
After you got her number, leave. You already made a great impression if she gave it to you. Don’t linger around. Trust me, she’ll smile all throughout the day because of that interaction and wait for your text.
“Nice, meeting you. I’ll text you. Have a great day.”
What are the wrong goals when approaching women?
They’re not wrong. But you should not focus on this in the first few minutes of the conversation. Throw this out of your mind.
Trying to connect.
When you approach a woman, you can’t make a connection with her instantly. It takes time.
That’s why you need to get her contacts. Chat with her for some time and ask her out. This shows that you are interested in her but not needy or pushy.
Don’t try to ask what she’s into, her hobbies, interests, or other personal details right away. Maybe you can mention them if she’s doing something related to them when you approach her or if they come up naturally in the conversation.
But save them for when you hang out with her.
Set a date and time. When she goes out with you, you know she’s kind of interested too. That’s when you try to get to know her better. This shows that you are confident, respectful, and fun.
Thinking of relationships
Some men may approach women to find a girlfriend, a wife, or a soulmate.
This can lead to unrealistic, clingy, or needy behavior, which can scare women and ruin their chances.
You may be longing for a long-term relationship. But this should be out of your mind for now.
When you approach a woman, you can’t get her to be a girlfriend right then and there. There are steps in between that you have to fulfill.
You have to be realistic. Stop thinking if she can be a good girlfriend or if she’ll be the perfect wife.
Instead, focus on making a good impression and making her feel good about you.
Don’t rush into defining the relationship, making commitments, or expressing your feelings too soon.
Trying to hookup instantly
Trying to sexualize the conversation with women too soon is also a sign of impatience, as it implies that one’s interest is based on superficial or ulterior motives.
A better goal when approaching women is to have a fun, casual, and playful conversation.
Yes, sleeping with women like an hour after meeting them is doable. A lot of men have done it if they have the skills and luck. But do you have those?
If you want to increase your chances, then try to create curiosity, humor, and comfort. Maybe she’ll go home with you if you flip the right switches.
Networking
Be real. You’re not talking to her to gain friends. You’ve been friend zoned by a lot of girls; that’s why you’re trying your luck with her.
You are not there to have fun. You’re there because you like her. Stop telling yourself that you’ll just enjoy the moment.
Know your goals and be clear about them. Getting another friend? It’s not one of them.
But hey, if you get rejected, don’t take it personally. Maybe you can still make a good impression and get to know her other friends, who might be more compatible with you.
Action Plan
First, you need to walk up to women. If you’re just starting, practice walking up to women first. Walk up to her. Have a line and a follow-up ready. Don’t think about anything else first.
If you’re finding this step difficult because of shyness or anxiety, focus on this for a week or two.
Have a line ready, anything neutral like asking the weather or directions.
Then if you’re ready. Try to make a great impression. Get her to laugh or smile. Get her number and get out.
Get the woman laughing and show her your sense of humor, personality, and confidence.
But do this next phase, only if you know how to walk up to women without shitting your pants.
This should be how simple it can be.
Don’t think about anything else yet.
Walk up to them. Introduce yourself. Maybe make small talk. Then next time, when you get the hang of it, squeeze in some jokes. A little flirtation could be nice too. Get her number and get out.
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