The Harsh Realities Men Must Face When Meeting and Dating Women

In Depth Reading Time: 11 minutes
Why dating for men is difficult

Do you think that dating as a man is difficult these days? You’re not wrong, and you’re not the only one.

Do you think it’s kind of unfair?

As men, we should be the ones to approach them and talk to them. And you have to face rejection all the time.

Then you should be the one to woo them to get a date. If you don’t ask, they won’t bother.

You should be assertive. And it’s a must to be smooth and not creepy.

Why should a man do all the work, right? The odds are not in your favor.

Dating is strange for the average guy. It’s like stepping into another world where you don’t understand the rules.

You could be socially active, have a supportive family, engage in hobbies, maintain good hygiene, and stay in decent shape, yet still struggle romantically or sexually with women.

Simply put, you could be doing everything right and still be unnoticed and overlooked by girls.

Remember, you’re not alone; millions and millions of men are experiencing the same.

But the more you accept some realities, the better you can find a way. You can find a shortcut. A system, to meet and date women successfully.

Think about this: the more you practice the guitar, the more skilled you will be at playing it. You may not reach the level of a professional musician, but you will improve your guitar abilities, just like in meeting and dating women.

I will reveal some of the most brutal facts about dating that you need to know and accept.

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The Harsh Truths On Why Dating Is Bad As A Man

Whats the hardest part of dating as a guy nowadays

These facts may shock, challenge, or even hurt you, but they will also help you grow, improve, and succeed.

These realities apply to most women and most situations, regardless of age, location, or background. These are realities that you cannot ignore, avoid, or deny.

These are the harsh realities of meeting and dating women. Are you ready to face them?

Looks do matter

Looks do matter, especially when you are meeting or approaching women for the first time.

She doesn’t know anything about your personality, your values, or your skills. She only has your appearance and body language to form an initial impression of you.

That’s why you need to present yourself in the best possible way, both physically and socially.

The good news is that you can improve your physical attractiveness with effort and dedication.

You don’t have to be a bodybuilder or a male model to attract women. You just have to be fit, healthy, and well-groomed.

One of the factors that influences your attractiveness is your shoulder-to-hip ratio (SHR), which is the circumference of your shoulders relative to your hips.

A higher SHR is associated with masculinity, strength, and virility, and women tend to prefer men with higher SHRs1. That’s why many Hollywood action heroes have broad shoulders and narrow hips to create a more appealing silhouette.

Even if you think you are average-looking, you can boost your attractiveness by caring for yourself.

Aim for a body fat percentage of around 15%, which is optimal for health and aesthetics.

Exercise regularly, eat a balanced diet, and drink plenty of water. Get a haircut that suits your face shape and style. Visit a dermatologist for any skin issues or treatments. Dress well, according to your body type and occasion.

These are not only ways to impress women but also to feel good and confident in your skin. Think of this as an investment for yourself, not just for your dating life.

There’s no doubt that women will flock to the popular guy.

You’ve seen it since high school or even earlier. There’s always that one guy who everyone likes and admires.

He’s the leader, the star, the alpha. He gets all the attention and all the girls. But you? You’re just an average guy.

So when she’s talking between you and the popular guy, you must understand she might choose him over you.

Kind of unfair, right? You think that women should give you a chance, right? Wrong. You have to earn their attention and attraction. It’s just how it is. Nature.

You have to understand. What makes the popular guy so appealing?

That’s the secret. You may not have those qualities now, but with work, you can have it.

Do you have to be the popular guy? Not so.

You have to learn the qualities that women find attractive in men. And you have to work on developing those qualities yourself.

As a start, be more sociable. If you’re in a class or work setting, try to talk to more people. You don’t have to be the popular guy. You could be known as the guy everyone knows. The friendly guy, the one they can count on.

Expand your social circle and network. A large and diverse social circle and network can increase your status and popularity, showing you are well-connected, well-liked, and well-respected.

Then, little by little, increase your flirtation and attraction techniques. Now you’ll be more sociable and attractive.

It might be hard to do, but it’s the only way for you to meet and date women.

You have to have the qualities of a popular guy. Again, you don’t need to be the popular guy. You need to have traits that he has that women find attractive.

Women don’t care about you.

When women meet men, they ask themselves why they should pay attention to you.

If you are an average-looking guy, women don’t care about you at all. She may care a little more if you have some looks to boast about.

If you’re kind of popular too, she’ll think about it. But what else are they looking for in you?

They will lose interest and move on if they find no reason to do so.

For example, if you like a girl at work or in school, do you think she cares about you? You can’t be sure.

Even on apps like Tinder, no woman would make the first move. Why should they care? Plenty of men would want their attention. And even if she responds, she doesn’t know how. She doesn’t know how to keep a conversation.

It’s because she doesn’t care. You haven’t piqued her attention. And also, she’s probably talking to other guys. Guys that are more popular and good-looking.

That’s why you should assume she doesn’t care about you and find a smooth way to get and keep her attention.

She doesn’t care about your effort, such as how you court or woo her, if you always text her or be there for her when she needs someone.

She doesn’t care about your achievements, such as your education, profession, or awards.

She doesn’t owe you anything for these things and may not even value them as much as you do.

When you meet a girl for the first time, should she invest in you right away? Like, make you her boyfriend, be sweet and affectionate right away?

As a man, all we need is a fun and attractive girlfriend. We wish it were that easy. But women are different.

Women have many men offering them various things, such as money, time, or gifts.

Women have so many options that they don’t care about men giving them these things anymore.

That’s why even money-making guys struggle to find a girlfriend or love. They may get a girl but then realize that she only wants their money, not them.

That’s why bragging or showing off doesn’t work. Many guys have tried that, but it doesn’t impress women because it’s easy for men to have things and money.

Looks may work, but only to a certain extent.

What’s not easy is being charming, being smooth, being flirty. These are the skills that make women care about you.

What women care about is how you make them feel.

If you make them feel attracted, comfortable, and seduced by you, even if you don’t have money or looks, they’ll go for you.

If you make them feel good around you, if you have a good vibe, then they’ll stick with you.

You are a creep.

If you are an average or below-average-looking man, the default way how women look at you is that you’re a “creep.”

So, let’s say you’re just walking about your day. A woman drops something out of his bag. With the goodness of your heart, you pick it up to give it back to her, as it’s the right thing to do. But when you call her attention, oops, you’re now a creep.

As a man, you must prove you are a normal, decent guy.

That you are not socially awkward, that other people like you or don’t see you as weird. You have to work hard to overcome this negative perception.

One wrong move or accusation and you lose your chances or even your social reputation.

She’s talking to other guys

You may have a crush on a girl, and you may think she likes you back.

She responds quickly to your texts, flirts with you, and makes you feel special.

You may think she’s the one for you, but guess what? You’re probably not the only guy she’s talking to.

And even if you are the only guy she’s currently talking to, you should still assume she’s open to other options.

You should adopt this mindset when you start dating for several reasons.

First, to avoid being needy and clingy. You don’t have any claim over her, and she doesn’t owe you anything.

Second, to improve your game. You’ll be more motivated to develop better lines, moves, and ways to impress her.

Third, to protect your heart. If you did your best, and she still chose someone else, you shouldn’t take it too hard. It’s just reality.

She chose the other guy, but that doesn’t mean she saw you as inferior.

Maybe she had a history with him or a stronger connection with him. Perhaps she went on more dates or felt more comfortable with him. Sometimes, it just doesn’t work out.

So, if you’re talking to a girl, don’t assume she’s only talking to you.

Women want men who are taken.

Women are influenced by what other women want. There are whole industries for that. Makeup, bags, clothes. They buy what other women recommend.

That’s why sometimes men who don’t have girlfriends struggle to get any attention from women. But when they get a girlfriend, other women start flocking to them.

They don’t care if he’s in a relationship or not. They see that another woman chose him and think he must have something special.

He is now “recommended.” That’s what’s going on in their minds.

Let’s say a woman asks you how long you’ve been single. Don’t tell her the truth if it’s been years or if you’re a virgin.

Joke a little and say something like a month or a few.

If she hears that you’ve been single for a long time or that you’ve never had sex, she’ll think that you’re inexperienced, undesirable, or defective.

She’ll think that no woman wants you, or that you’re not good in bed, or that there’s something wrong with you.

So, if you don’t have a woman right now and you want to get one, at least pretend that you’re talking to a few.

Show that you have a social life and are not a lonely weirdo. This will make you more attractive and desirable to women.

Nice guys finish last.

You may have heard the saying that nice guys finish last, and you may wonder why that is.

The reason is that nice guys are too passive, agreeable, and afraid to go after what they want.

They play it safe, avoid conflict, and settle for less.

They don’t express their opinions, feelings, or desires or stand up for themselves or others.

They don’t take risks, they don’t make moves, and they don’t challenge themselves or others.

They don’t attract, excite, or inspire women or get what they want or deserve.

So, if you’re a nice guy, you need to change your mindset and behavior.

You don’t need to be the bad guy, the jerk, the asshole, or the douchebag. But you need to be more assertive, confident, and proactive.

Because if you don’t, other guys will “steal your girl,” and you don’t want that.

You need to express yourself, stand up for yourself, and go for what you want.

You need to take charge, make decisions, and take action.

You must be more attractive, exciting, and inspiring to women and get what you want and deserve.

Find out more: What Is A Nice Guy and Why Women Don’t Want Them

You won’t always get what you want

Let’s say you like a girl, and you may think she’s perfect for you.

You keep telling yourself she’s the one.

You picture you and her together forever. You can’t wait to introduce her to family and friends.

But the reality is that she may not be available or interested in a relationship with you.

But hey, it’s probably not about you. It’s not a you issue.

She may have a different relationship status. She’s probably already married, talking to someone, engaged, or has a boyfriend you don’t know about.

She could have a different sexual orientation or preference than you. She looks and acts feminine but is into other women.

She could just be out of a bad relationship and don’t want to deal with headaches concerning men.

She could also be celibate or asexual for personal reasons.

Or she may be interested in guys who are not like you in terms of personality, appearance, or lifestyle.

Heck, you may be too young or too old for her or too different or too similar to her.

Again, it’s a not You issue. It’s on them. If they don’t want you, should you chase after them? No.

This is why it’s crucial for you as a man to realize that you have options. You can talk to as many women as you want. You can pursue them all at once.

Some may like you, some won’t. What’s important is to know your value.

Don’t waste your time and energy chasing women who don’t share your feelings.

Focus on women who want you and will try to be with you.

Wrap Up

Meeting and dating women can be a challenging journey for men.

You must face and accept many harsh realities that may challenge your beliefs, expectations, and feelings.

You must compete with countless other men and distractions for women’s attention and attraction.

Thanks to technology, social media, and online platforms, women have more options and opportunities than ever before.

They can easily find, connect, and compare potential partners and switch to someone else if bored or dissatisfied. You have to stand out from the crowd and keep her hooked on you.

Aside from that, you have to deal with rejection, competition, and uncertainty.

You have to overcome your fears, insecurities, and weaknesses.

You have to learn new skills, techniques, and strategies. You have to work hard, be persistent, and be patient.

But meeting and dating women can also be a rewarding and fulfilling journey for men.

You can discover and develop yourself and become a better version of yourself.

You can meet and connect with amazing women and experience love, intimacy, and happiness.

You can create and share memorable moments and build lasting relationships.

You can enjoy and appreciate women’s beauty, diversity, and complexity.

The key to meeting and dating women is to take action.

You must leave your comfort zone and expose yourself to new opportunities and experiences.

You must approach, talk, and flirt with women and ask them out. You have to date, seduce, and please women and make them want you.

You must be proactive, adaptable, and resilient, not letting anything stop you.

Try It Now
  1. What the ‘perfect’ body really looks like for men and women ↩︎


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One response to “The Harsh Realities Men Must Face When Meeting and Dating Women”

  1. Roland Avatar

    This is why I don’t bother with women. I try to reach out and they get all nasty. I know I haven’t done anything to disrespect or make them uncomfortable, yet I always get rejected 100%. I don’t know what my next move is anymore.

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