You’ve been chatting with this girl for a while. Maybe you met her at work, in class, online, or somewhere else.
She seems to enjoy your messages. You make her laugh, and she makes you laugh. You exchange jokes, memes, and emojis.
You feel a connection. How do you take it to the next level? You ask her out, right?
Well, not so fast. What if I told you you could get a girlfriend or a casual fling without going on formal dates with women? Sounds too good to be true, right?
But hear me out. I’m not saying you should never take women out on a date. But there are some pitfalls that men fall into that put them at a disadvantage in the dating scene.
You’ve probably seen this on social media. Some women go out on dates just to get free food, drinks, or favors from men. They have no intention of seeing them again or sleeping with them. You don’t want to be that guy. You want to protect yourself.
That’s why I’m going to share with you some practical ways how you can hang out with women in a better way. Ways that are inexpensive, low-pressure, and fun. Ways that can lead to more intimacy and attraction.
Men should avoid dinner dates on the first meet to ease pressure, save time and money, focus on the connection, reduce anxiety, keep options open, and be flexible. This approach allows them to be themselves and explore multiple dating possibilities.
It’s not that men are not romantic or gentlemanly anymore. It’s just that they are being smart.
Just check out this article. It will show you how women’s preferences are getting out of hand. If you can’t take them out on dates to these places, then forget it. It’s getting ridiculous.
You don’t want to waste your time, money, and energy on a woman who you may not like or may not be into you, or don’t appreciate you or your efforts at all.
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Why You Should Not Take Women Out On A Date, At First.
Contents
Reduce Pressure and Expectations
One of the reasons why you should avoid formal dates is that they can create a lot of pressure and expectations for both you and the woman.
You might worry about making a good first impression. So now you feel pressured to dress up or plan the activities.
You might also feel pressured to be courteous. So now you’re thinking about paying the bill. But should you be the one paying the bill, or should this be split up? What if the bill’s costly? What should you do?
You might even worry about keeping the conversation going. You’re not used to these formal dates.
All these factors can make you nervous and tense and prevent you from having fun and being yourself.
Formal dating can be even more nerve-wracking if you’re not very confident or experienced in dating. That’s why it’s better to avoid them at first and find an activity or place where you can be comfortable and relaxed.
Save Time and Money
Another reason why you should avoid formal dates is that they can be expensive and time-consuming.
You might not want to spend much money and time on someone you barely know or are unsure about.
You might want to hang out in a way that is cost-effective and less financially burdensome for both parties involved.
This doesn’t mean you’re stingy or cheap.
You might have money to spend, but you want to save it for later dates when you’re more sure about the person.
That’s why choosing a low-cost and low-commitment option, such as meeting for coffee, going for a walk, or hanging out at a park, is better.
Stand Out from the Crowd
It would be best to avoid formal dates because they can be too obvious or cliché.
You want to show that you are different from other men. This is how you do it.
If you take her out on a formal date, your intentions might be too clear, especially if she doesn’t find you that attractive yet.
She might see you as someone needy or desperate. You want to avoid that. That’s why you should also avoid using the word “date” when you want to hang out with women.
You might think a formal date is too boring or conventional. You might prefer to do something unexpected or exciting, such as going to watch a live band, a comedy show, or a karaoke bar.
You want to be spontaneous and adventurous. For example, if you’re going hiking, you can invite her out with a flirty line like “Hey, I’m going hiking this weekend. Want to join me and see some amazing views?”
These options can also help you have fun and show your personality. By doing this, you may stand out from other guys trying to take her out.
Focus on the Vibe, Not the Venue
A fourth reason you should avoid formal dates is that they can distract you from the main goal: getting to know the woman.
Sometimes, women complicate things by asking, “What should we do?” or expecting you to plan everything. But you don’t have to do that.
You can tell her you want to get to know her first and suggest a simple and casual option, such as coffee or a park.
You want to test the compatibility and chemistry with the woman before deciding if you will pursue anything with her.
You want to see how well you can converse with her and how comfortable you feel around her.
If she says, “No, I don’t do that. You have to take me out.” Then you can take it as a sign that she’s not the right one for you.
A good woman will also want to get to know you without all that pressure. You want to find someone who aligns with you.
I had dates where I invited women out for pancakes. And we talked for hours. Nothing fancy. Just good all talk, fun, and vibe.
Minimize Anxiety and Nervousness
Formal dates can make you feel more anxious and nervous than necessary.
You might worry about things like bad breath, sweaty palms, awkward silences, or saying the wrong thing.
You might also feel self-conscious about your appearance, manners, or performance.
These feelings can ruin your mood and confidence and make you less attractive to the woman.
You want to alleviate the nerves and anxiety of formal dating situations, creating a more comfortable and relaxed atmosphere for both parties.
Another way to minimize anxiety is to wear something that makes you feel comfortable and confident. And you can do so without being too casual or too formal.
You still want to look good, but you don’t have to stress over your outfit. You want to find a balance between comfort and style.
You want quality and mutual enjoyment without the dynamics of one person feeling obligated to impress or entertain the other.
That’s why it’s better to choose activities that make you feel more at ease and natural, such as playing a game or doing something you both enjoy. You can go to museums, watch dogs at the park, you can even jog together and get coffee after.
You don’t need to make reservations and get anxious when there’s bad traffic or if she will show up or not. You can go with the flow and have fun.
Keep Your Options Open Until You’re Sure
You don’t want to limit your choices and flexibility when dating.
You may want to date multiple women at the same time and see who is the best match for you.
You don’t want to commit to one woman too soon or give her the wrong impression that you are serious about her. You might also want to drama.
Not going on formal dates does that.
Just because you’re not taking women out on “dates” doesn’t mean that you’re only looking for casual hookups. It just means that you’re keeping your options open.
If you like her on the first meet, you may want to keep dating her again and again. But if you think you won’t jive well, then it’s okay too.
You guys didn’t invest a lot of money and effort. Just enough to get to know more about the person.
It’s easier to talk about not jiving well and not continue seeing each other like this than after a formal date.
Be Flexible and Spontaneous
Taking women out on “dates” can restrict your scheduling and logistics.
It doesn’t mean It’ll be hard to find time to spend together. You just have to put in more effort.
You might have to plan ahead, check your calendars, make reservations, or deal with traffic.
These things can be stressful and inconvenient, especially if something goes wrong or changes.
Oops, something unexpected happened. Raincheck? So now you’re schedules ruined.
You might want to be more flexible and spontaneous and take advantage of any opportunity to hang out with the woman.
For example, if you’re both free right now, you can invite her over or go to her place.
Or you can meet somewhere in between, like a park or a coffee shop.
Or maybe she wants to watch a band she likes, and you like that band too. You can join her and have a blast.
Or even if she’s out with friends, you can pick her up and take her somewhere else.
The point is, with informal hangouts, you don’t have to set the time or place. You can decide along the way based on your mood and availability.
Wrap Up
Traditional dates are not the only way to get to know someone and have a good time. In fact, they can be more stressful, expensive, and limiting than informal hangouts.
You might prefer a more natural and organic way of interacting with the woman, where you can be yourself and not worry about the rules or etiquette of dating.
By avoiding formal dates, you can reduce pressure and expectations, save time and money, stand out from the crowd, focus on the vibe, minimize anxiety and nervousness, keep your options open until you’re sure, and be flexible and spontaneous.
These benefits can help you improve your dating life and find the right person for you.
So, the next time you want to hang out with a woman, don’t ask her out on a date. Just invite her to do something fun and casual with you. You’ll be surprised by how much more enjoyable and successful it can be.
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