Things That You Should Never Do On A Date

In Depth Reading Time: 13 minutes
never do these date blunders

Have you ever wondered why some of your first dates never led to a second one?

Do you feel like you’re doing everything right, but still not getting the desired results?

You might be surprised to learn that there are some common mistakes that many people make on their first dates, and they can ruin your chances of making a good impression.

In this article, we’ll share with you ten things you should never do on your first date with women and how to avoid them.

Whether you’re looking for a casual fling or a serious relationship, these tips will help you make the most of your first date and increase your odds of getting a second one.

Unlock the Strategies

Avoid These Date Mistakes

Date Faux Pas You Must Avoid

Don’t show up late.

This is the first and most important thing you should never do on your first date. Showing up late can make your date think you’re a flake, or you’ll just stand her up.

In turn, she might leave even before you arrive. Or even if she stayed, she might get annoyed and lose interest in you.

Imagine putting in all the effort to get her out on a date, only to ruin it by being late. You don’t want that to happen, do you?

That’s why you should always try to be there at least 15 minutes early. This will show her that you respect her time and that you’re eager to see her. It will also give you some time to relax and prepare yourself for the date.

Don’t make excuses for being late, either.

Don’t try to tell her that “it’s your personality” or that “you’re always like this.” That’s just bad behavior, and it won’t impress her.

She’ll only think you’re irresponsible and immature and don’t take things seriously. You want to show her that you’re a man who can handle his life, not a boy who can’t manage his time.

Of course, sometimes things happen that are beyond your control. You might get stuck in traffic, have an emergency, or face some unexpected situation.

These things happen to everyone, and they’re not your fault. But it would be best if you still handled them well.

If you know you’ll be late, you should let her know as soon as possible.

Call her or text her and explain the situation. Apologize sincerely, and tell her how much you look forward to seeing her. If possible, send her a video call or a photo to show her that you’re really on your way and are not lying.

This will help her understand that you’re not trying to bail on her. Hopefully, she’ll be understanding and patient and give you another chance.

Don’t focus on your phone.

Focusing on your phone can make your date feel ignored, bored, or offended.

She might think that you’re not interested in her or that you have something better to do. You don’t want that to happen, do you?

That’s why you should always put your phone on silent, vibrate, or do not disturb mode. This will prevent any unwanted interruptions or distractions from your phone.

However, this doesn’t mean you should never take out your phone.

In some situations, taking out your phone is okay or even helpful.

For example, you might want to show her a funny meme, an intriguing video, or a controversial opinion about your conversation. Or you might need to check the schedule of the movies or the map of where you’re going.

These are valid reasons to take out your phone, as long as you don’t spend too much time on it.

Taking out your phone can also be a way to break the ice, share some laughs, or find some common ground with your date.

So the key point is, if you’re just going to be looking at your phone and not engaging with her, just don’t. That’s rude and disrespectful.

But it’s okay if it’s really important or adds value to the conversation. Just make sure that you’re not neglecting your date, and that you’re giving her your full attention and interest.

Don’t assume she’s the one.

This is a common mistake that many people make on their first dates, especially if they haven’t been dating for a while.

They get too excited and hopeful about the date and think she could be the one. The girl of their dreams.

They are amazed by her looks, her personality, and her charm. They feel a strong connection and attraction. But this is where they start to act in unattractive ways.

They become needy and clingy. They don’t want the date to end. They shower her with compliments and affection.

They try to hold her hand, hug her, or kiss her. They might even say things like “I love you” or “You’re perfect for me”. These are examples of being too assumptive and forward.

She’s not the one. At least not yet.

You still don’t know her well enough. She might have flaws or deal-breakers that you’re not aware of. She might not feel the same way about you. So take a step back and slow down.

If you keep being needy or clingy, you might scare her off or turn her off. You might not even get a second date.

Don’t assume anything. Don’t project your feelings or expectations onto her.

Don’t make her feel awkward or pressured by staring at her or implying that you’re already in love with her.

Don’t talk or fantasize about a future together.

It’s good to be optimistic, but don’t be unrealistic. Just enjoy the moment and get to know her better. Let things happen naturally and organically.

Don’t try too hard to impress

A common mistake many people make on their first dates is thinking that they must impress their date.

There’s nothing wrong with giving a good impression. It just goes bad when you try too much or too hard.

They constantly talk about themselves, brag about their achievements, or show off their skills.

They also think that they have to be touchy-feely and try to force a hug or hold hands.

They might even act like they’re the nice guy or the perfect guy for her.

Further reading: What Is A Nice Guy and Why Women Don’t Want Them

But this can backfire and make them seem arrogant, insecure, or creepy.

Instead of trying to impress your date, just be yourself and let your date get to know the real you.

If you want to learn more about how to impress your date without trying too hard, check out this article: Avoid These Common Mistakes Men Make When Trying to Impress Women

Don’t spread negativity or toxicity.

Don’t spread negativity or toxicity. This is a big turn-off for most women and can ruin your first date. Spreading negativity or toxicity means that you’re always talking about negative things, such as:

  • Your bad dates, bad days, or bad coworkers. This can make you seem bitter, unhappy, or ungrateful. It can also make her wonder if you will talk bad about her behind her back.
  • How exhausted you are. This can make you seem tired, bored, or uninterested. It can also make her feel you’re not giving her your best energy or attention.
  • How other people are bad and you are right. This can make you seem arrogant, judgmental, or intolerant. It can also make her feel you’re not open-minded or respectful of different opinions or perspectives.
  • Your bad exes, or how you compare her to other girls you’ve been with. This can make you seem hung up on the past, insecure, or disrespectful. It can also make her feel like you’re not over your ex, or that you’re not appreciating her for who she is.
  • Your complaints, about anyone or anything. This can make you seem negative, pessimistic, or whiny. It can also make her feel like you’re not happy with your life, or that you’re not enjoying the date.
  • Telling her that you don’t like her likes, hobbies, or interests. This can make you seem rude, narrow-minded, or boring. It can also make her feel like you’re not compatible or interested in her.
  • Talking about other girls you’re seeing or about to see. This can make you seem dishonest, disloyal, or sleazy. It can also make her feel like she’s just an option, or that you’re not serious about her.

No one likes a date who is always bitter and whiny. That’s a sure way to kill the mood and the vibe. Instead, focus on fun, enjoyment, and positive vibes. Make your date laugh, smile, and giggle. That’s a sure way to create a connection and a spark.

Don’t spend a lot of money

This is a smart advice for your first date.

It doesn’t mean that you should be a cheap ass and skimp on everything. It just means you shouldn’t splurge on something extravagant, like a fancy restaurant or a lavish gift.

Why would you do that for a stranger you don’t know yet? You might end up wasting your money, or worse, making her feel uncomfortable or obligated.

Instead, you should opt for something low-key and affordable, like a coffee shop or a park. This way, you can focus on the conversation and the connection, rather than the price tag.

If you want some ideas for low-cost but fun meetups, check out this article: 10 Low-Key Meetups for Your First Date.

Speaking of money, you should also never forget your wallet and make her pay. That’s a huge turn-off and a deal-breaker for most women.

Be prepared to pay for the date, unless she insists on splitting the bill.

But don’t demand her to pay, or make her feel guilty for not paying. That’s rude and disrespectful.

If you really forgot your wallet, you should apologize sincerely and offer to Venmo her the money right away.

Or you could say, “We can get back to my place so that I could pay you?” But only do this if it’s convenient and you think there’s a chance to be intimate.

So the key point is, don’t spend a lot of money on your first date. It’s not necessary, and it might backfire. Just be reasonable and respectful, and show her that you value her more than your money.

Avoid controversial topics

You should never bring up topics that are likely to cause disagreement, conflict, or offense. These topics include:

  • Political or religious affiliations. These topics can reveal your values, beliefs, and worldview, which might be very different from your date’s. They can also trigger strong emotions, biases, or judgments, which might make your date feel uncomfortable or defensive.
  • Social issues. These topics can involve sensitive, complex, or divisive matters, such as abortion, gun control, climate change, death penalty, immigration, LGBTQ+ rights, racial issues, economic inequality, etc. They can also spark heated debates, arguments, or protests, which might make your date feel angry or frustrated.
  • Conspiracies. These topics can involve wild, unfounded, or bizarre claims, such as aliens, flat earth, Illuminati, etc. They can also make you seem paranoid, delusional, or irrational, which might make your date feel scared or weirded out.

Some more examples of controversial topics are:

  • Sex. This topic can involve personal, intimate, or explicit details, such as your sexual history, preferences, or fantasies. It can also make you seem too eager, too forward, or too inappropriate, which might make your date feel pressured or violated. But hey, if you can smoothly transition to flirtingly talking to her with these then good.
  • Money. This topic can involve financial, material, or status-related aspects, such as your income, debt, or spending habits. It can also make you seem too cheap, too extravagant, or too boastful, which might make your date feel insecure or inferior.
  • Health. This topic can involve physical, mental, or emotional issues, such as your weight, illness, or trauma. It can also make you seem too unhealthy, too needy, or too depressing, which might make your date feel worried or sad.

Controversial topics on your first date? Maybe not so much.

They might ruin your chances of getting a second one. Instead, stick to safe and neutral topics, such as hobbies, interests, or travel.

If you want to share something about yourself that relates to a controversial topic, you could mention it briefly, but don’t dwell on it. If your date likes the topic, they’ll ask you more about it.

If you think you need your date to know something important about you, you could mention it on the second or third date, when you’ve built more trust and rapport. Not too early, but not too late.

Don’t forget your manners

You should always be polite, respectful, and considerate towards your date and others.

Don’t do anything that might make your date feel disgusted, offended, or uncomfortable.

Here are some things that you should avoid doing on your first date:

  • Chewing with your mouth open, or making loud noises while eating. This can make you seem gross, uncultured, or rude. It can also ruin your date’s appetite and mood.
  • Littering, or leaving a mess behind. This can make you seem careless, irresponsible, or disrespectful. It can also harm the environment and the people around you.
  • Bad mouthing, or talking negatively about someone or something. This can make you seem bitter, unhappy, or ungrateful. It can also make your date wonder if you’re going to bad mouth her later.
  • Not being courteous to the servers, or treating them poorly. This can make you seem arrogant, entitled, or mean. It can also make your date feel embarrassed or sorry for the servers.
  • Swearing, or using vulgar or offensive language. This can make you seem crude, immature, or aggressive. It can also make your date feel shocked or offended.
  • Being rude and inappropriate, or making unwanted or disrespectful comments or gestures. This can make you seem creepy, sleazy, or creepy. It can also make your date feel violated or unsafe.
  • Making too much sexual jokes, or implying sexual intentions. This can make you seem desperate, horny, or inappropriate. It can also make your date feel pressured or uncomfortable.

Some more examples of forgetting your manners are:

  • Interrupting, or not listening to your date. This can make you seem selfish, impatient, or rude. It can also make your date feel ignored or unimportant.
  • Making fun of people, or mocking them. This can make you seem mean, insensitive, or cruel. It can also make your date feel sorry for the people you’re making fun of, or afraid of being made fun of by you.
  • Checking out other people, or flirting with them. This can make you seem dishonest, disloyal, or sleazy. It can also make your date feel jealous, insecure, or disrespected.

Don’t forget your manners on your first date. They’re essential, and they might make or break your chances of getting a second one. Instead, be polite, respectful, and considerate.

Don’t show up with a friend.

You should never bring a friend along unless you’ve agreed to a double or group date.

Bringing a friend can make your date uncomfortable, confused, or third-wheeled. It can also make you seem insecure, dependent, or rude.

It’s a date between you and her, not you, your friend, and her. Don’t create awkwardness by having your friend hang around.

Maybe you’re anxious, and you want some moral support. That’s understandable, but bringing a friend’s not a good reason.

If you really need a friend to calm your nerves, you can ask them to come with you, but not to the date itself. You can tell them to wait in the car, or at another place nearby.

You can also text or call them before or after the date, but not during the date. That would be disrespectful to your date and to your friend.

Don’t show up with a friend on your first date. It’s not cool and might ruin your chances of getting a second one.

Instead, show up alone, and show your date that you’re confident, independent, and interested in her. You’ll make a better impression, and you’ll have a better experience.

Don’t underestimate yourself.

You should never doubt yourself or your abilities, or show a lack of confidence. This can make you seem insecure, needy, or unattractive.

Here are some things that you should avoid doing on your first date:

  • Don’t ask her if you’re doing great on the date or if she likes you. This can make you seem desperate or fishing for compliments. Instead, assume she’s having a good time and interested in you. If she’s not, she’ll let you know.
  • Don’t tell her you just got out of a relationship and don’t know how to date. This can make you seem inexperienced or unprepared for a new relationship. Instead, focus on the present and getting to know her better. Don’t bring up your past, unless she asks you.
  • Don’t tell her embarrassing stories, or reveal too much personal information. This can make you seem awkward, or oversharing. Instead, save those stories for later, when you’ve built more trust and rapport with her. For now, just keep it light and fun, and share some interesting or funny stories.
  • Don’t use self-deprecating humor, or put yourself down. This can make you seem insecure, or lacking self-esteem. Instead, be positive and confident, and show her your best qualities. You can still be humble and modest, but don’t be afraid to show some pride and self-respect.

Don’t underestimate yourself on your first date. You have a lot to offer, and you should believe in yourself. She agreed to go out with you, so she must see something in you. Just be yourself, and let her see it too.

Don’t show disinterest.

This is a piece of respectful advice for a first date.

You should never act like you’re bored, annoyed, or indifferent towards your date. Even if you feel like you’re not into her, you don’t have to dismiss her.

Treat her as another human being who wants to communicate and connect with you.

Don’t answer her questions with yes or no, or with one-word responses. Don’t just say “uh-huh” or nod your head. That can make you seem rude, uninterested, or lazy. Instead, talk to her, and get to know her better.

Ask her open-ended questions, and share your thoughts and opinions. Show some enthusiasm and curiosity, and give her your full attention.

Even if you don’t click, you don’t need to be rude. She could be a good friend, or a good contact, or a good reference for someone else. You never know.

It’s not polite, and it’s not fair. Just be friendly and engaging, and show her that you value her time and presence. You’ll make a better impression, and you’ll have a better experience.

Try It Now

By

| Posted

| Updated

| Under

Comments

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

nine − 3 =