How To Convince Women to Date You

In Depth Reading Time: 12 minutes
how do I convince this girl to go out on a date

Have you ever had a crush on a girl? Maybe she’s someone you work or study with, see often, or talk to online.

She’s beautiful. Her face is angelic. Every time you think of her, you feel butterflies in your stomach. She’s like a dream come true.

 One day, you gather enough courage to ask her out. You say, “Hey, can we go on a date this Saturday?” She smiles and says, “Aw, you’re sweet. But I already have plans.” You say it’s okay and try to hide your disappointment.

A week later, you try again. You hope she’ll agree this time. You beg her, “Just say yes. Please. It’ll be fun.” To your surprise, she says yes.

You get excited and dress up for the occasion. You go to the meeting place, but she’s nowhere to be seen. You text her and wait for two hours. Then she replies, “Oh, I forgot. Sorry.”

You feel crushed and wonder why this keeps happening to you. How can you convince women to go out with you? You’re a nice guy, but why can’t women see the goodness in you?

Trying to convince women to date you means they’re not interested. If she finds you interesting, she’ll give you a chance. Instead of persuading, you should create attraction. Use mystery, humor, charm, and intrigue to spark their curiosity and desire.

You cannot convince a woman to date you if she is not interested in you or if you are not compatible with her. You can only attract a woman who is already open to the possibility of dating you and who likes you for who you are.

In this guide, I will share some specific and practical tips to avoid getting rejected by women when you ask them out.

Men should never beg, plead, or argue with women to go out with you. This will only make you look desperate and unattractive.

Instead, let’s focus on some strategies that will make you more appealing so that you don’t end up in this situation in the first place.

Unlock the Strategies

How To Convince a Girl To Go Out With You

how do you convince a girl to go on a date with you

You can’t force women to like you.

One of men’s biggest mistakes when they want to date women is trying to convince them to go out with them.

First, if you have to convince a woman to date you, you are already in a losing battle.

If a woman likes you, there’s no convincing required. You ask her, and if she’s interested, she’ll say yes.

The problem is when women say no. Guys think that women can change their minds, or that they’re playing hard to get or just testing them, which is not true.

Women say no because they are not interested, period. And guys should respect that, and move on.

Convincing a woman to date you is being pushy. Even if you don’t intend to be forceful, you may subtly influence them to do something they’re unsure about. Women are not attracted to men who are needy, desperate, or pushy.

Trying to convince a woman to date you can backfire and make her lose the slightest interest in you.

It’s like a salesman trying to sell her something she doesn’t want. How would you feel if someone tried to convince you to buy a product you are not interested in? As in zero.

Even if you manage to persuade her to go out with you, you are setting yourself up for disappointment and maybe resentment. Because now she’s with you not because she likes you, but because you manipulated her into saying yes.

Stop making yourself look desperate. Stop begging. Stop putting pressure on women. There’s a much better way.

That’s why it’s important that the decision comes from her. When a woman wants to date you, it should be her decision. Now, how can you do that?

Everything should be easy.

When a woman is interested in you, she will make it easy for you to ask her out.

She’ll respond positively to your advances, show enthusiasm for spending time with you, and may even suggest or agree to plans without hesitation.

Essentially, if she likes you, the process of going on a date with her will feel natural and effortless.

There won’t be a need for convincing or persuading on your part; instead, she’ll be eager to make it happen.

You won’t have to struggle, chase, or convince her to date you. She will show you clear signs of interest, and make it easy for you to ask her out.

How can you tell if she likes you? Here are some hints to look out for:

  • She initiates conversation. When a woman likes you, she will want to talk to you. She might even text or call you first, or start a conversation with you in person. She will ask you about how you are, your day, or what you are doing. She will also ask you questions to get to know you better and show genuine curiosity about your life, hobbies, and opinions.
  • She communicates with you. When a woman likes you, she will not play games with you. She will not ignore your texts, or take hours to reply. She will not make you wonder if you should text, call, or try to make you jealous. She will communicate with you, honestly, and consistently. She will also respond positively to your messages, and show enthusiasm and interest in what you say.
  • She laughs at your jokes. When a woman likes you, she will find you funny. She will laugh at your jokes, even if they are not good. She will also engage in playful banter or create inside jokes with you. She will tease you, flirt with you, or compliment you. She will show you that she enjoys your humor and likes spending time with you.
  • She hints or suggests that you hang out. When a woman likes you, she will want to see you. She might even suggest that you guys hang out, or go on a date. She might hint that she wants to go to a certain place, do a certain activity, or try a certain food. She might tell you things that she likes, or things that she wants to do with you. For example, this girl I knew kept hinting that she likes burgers. She always talked about burgers, and how much she wanted to eat one. I thought she just liked burgers, but no, she was setting the stage for me to ask her out. Silly me, I didn’t recognize it at first.

Focus on creating attraction

Instead of trying to convince or beg women to go out with you, there is a much easier and more effective way: creating attraction.

Attraction is when someone feels drawn to another person because they like who they are or how they make them feel. It’s what makes people want to spend more time together and get to know each other better.

It’s what motivates a woman to want to date you, not because you talked her into it, but because she wants to know more.

How can you create attraction? By focusing on these qualities:

  • Intrigue. Women are attracted to men with peculiar hobbies or interests or are passionate about something. This shows that you have a unique personality and something to offer. For example, you can tell her that you play the guitar, love hiking, or are learning a new language. This will make her curious about you and want to know more.
  • Mystery. Women are also attracted to men who are a little secretive, or who don’t reveal everything about themselves. This creates a sense of mystery and makes you more interesting and mysterious. For example, you can tell her that you have a surprise for her, or that you have a secret talent, or that you have a funny story to share. This will make her eager to find out what it is and keep her guessing.
  • Humor. Women love men who can make them laugh, smile, and have fun. Humor is a great way to create attraction, because it shows that you have a good sense of humor, and that you can lighten up the mood. For example, you can tell her a joke, or an inside joke, tease her playfully, or make fun of yourself. This will make her enjoy your company, and feel more comfortable with you.
  • Charm. Women also love men who can show their sweet side or be romantic and thoughtful. Charm is a great way to create attraction because it shows that you care about her and can make her feel special. For example, you can compliment her, or say something sweet. This will make her feel appreciated, and melt her heart.
  • Confidence. Women are most attracted to confident men who go for what they want. Confidence is a great way to create attraction because it shows that you are secure and not afraid to take action. You can communicate confidence by acting and standing strong in your decisions.

You can use these qualities to create attraction through texting, calling, and in person.

For example, you can text her something intriguing, like “I have something to tell you, but you have to promise not to laugh,” or something mysterious, like “Guess what I just did,” or something humorous, like “You won’t believe what I just saw,” or something charming, like “You looked amazing today,” or something confident, like “I want to see you.” These are just examples, but you get the idea.

She doesn’t have to be 100% attracted to you but needs a reason to go out with you. You’ve done what you can if she’s slightly intrigued and wants to know the person behind the name.

Be interesting.

Creating attraction is not easy. In fact, we ask women to date, hoping to create attraction. But how can you create attraction if you haven’t even gone out with her yet?

You can use texting or video calls, but if you think you can’t spark attraction that way, you can focus on being interesting.

Being interesting means being different from the rest.

Don’t be boring, bland, or predictable. Don’t be afraid to stand out, be yourself, or show your personality. Don’t be afraid to express your opinions, or to share your stories, or to show your emotions.

Don’t be afraid to be funny, witty, or clever. Don’t be afraid to be adventurous, spontaneous, or creative. Don’t be afraid to be passionate, enthusiastic, or ambitious.

Women appreciate men who are engaging, stimulating, fun, and have something to say, do, and be.

Here is an example of being bland vs being interesting in a texting setting:


Her: Hey, what are you up to?
Him: Nothing much, just watching TV.
Her: Oh, what are you watching?
Him: Some show, I don’t know.
Her: Do you like it?
Him: It’s okay, I guess.
Her: …


Her: Hey, what are you up to?
Him: I’m planning my next adventure.
Her: Really? What kind of adventure?
Him: I’m thinking of going skydiving, bungee jumping, or maybe both.
Her: Wow, that sounds exciting. Are you not scared?
Him: A little, but that’s part of the fun. Life is too short to be boring.
Her: I agree, you’re so brave. I wish I could join you.

Escape the friendzone

If you’re thinking of trying to convince women to go out with you, you’re more than likely already been placed in the friend zone.

If you are in the friendzone, no amount of convincing will make her change her mind and go out and date you. You need to change your strategy and your attitude.

Here are some things you can do to escape the friendzone:

  • Stop communication. The first thing you need to do is to cut off contact with her, at least for a while. Don’t text her, call her, or see her. Let her go for now, and give her some space. This will make her wonder what you are doing. It will also allow you to take a break and focus on improving yourself.
  • Stop trying to be yourself. The second thing you must do is stop being the same old you. If you notice that women are rejecting you almost always, there must be something wrong with your approach or behavior. You need to work on yourself and become a better version of yourself. Focus on improving your appearance, your body language, your conversation skills, your flirting skills, your dating skills, and your relationship skills. Become more attractive, confident, and interesting.
  • The third thing you need to do is show her that you have a life and are not waiting for her. When she reaches out to you, don’t be afraid to go silent occasionally or act indifferent. Don’t be too eager, or too available. When she asks what you’ve been up to, tell her you’ve been having fun, and dating other women. This will make her curious, and jealous. It will also show her that you are not needy, or desperate.
  • The fourth thing you need to do is to be assertive, and decisive. When you want to see her, don’t ask her, tell her. Tell her that you are free to meet on a certain day and that you have something fun planned. But only do this if you think you’ve gotten her a little interested. If she dances around the question or makes excuses, tell her you have to go and’ll talk to her later. Don’t beg, or plead, or negotiate. Be positive, and upbeat, throughout the entire conversation. Show her that you are not afraid to take the lead and have other options.

Find out more about how to escape the friendzone here: How To Get Out Of The Friendzone

Don’t be resentful.

When a woman rejects your offer, or even ghosts or blocks you, accept the answer. Don’t argue, beg, or pressure the woman to change her mind. This will only make you look desperate, and make her feel uncomfortable.

Don’t take the rejection personally, or blame yourself for it. Remember that there are many reasons why someone might not be interested in dating you, and most of them have nothing to do with you.

Maybe she is already in a relationship, or not looking for one. Maybe she is busy, or going through a hard time. Maybe she is just not compatible with you or has different preferences. It’s not your fault, and it’s not her fault either. It’s just how it is.

Don’t be rude, aggressive, or pushy. Avoid harassing, stalking, or pressuring women. Understand that women don’t owe you anything, so don’t expect them to do anything for you.

Rejection is not a failure, but feedback. It can help you learn more about yourself, your preferences, and your goals. It can help you improve your approach, skills, and attitude. It can help you find someone who is right for you and likes you back.

Handling rejection

Sometimes, you will ask a woman out and she will say no. This can hurt, but it’s not the end of the world. The best thing you can do is to handle rejection gracefully and learn from it.

  • Reflect. The first thing you need to do is to reflect on what happened. Why did she reject you? Have you established attraction or at least a little interest? Maybe you are still a stranger to her and need to build more rapport. Maybe you met online, and you need to chat more. Maybe she is in your workplace or school, and you need to talk to her from time to time. Maybe you need to work on your appearance, confidence, or skills. There are many ways to build a foundation for attraction, and you must find out what works for you.
  • Improve. The second thing you need to do is to improve yourself. Don’t dwell on the rejection, or blame yourself for it. Instead, use it as a motivation to become a better man. Focus on your goals, your hobbies, and your passions. Work on your health, your fitness, and your style. Learn new things, meet new people, and have new experiences. Become more attractive, interesting, and fun. Show her, and yourself, that you are not defined by one rejection, but by your potential.
  • Move on. The third thing you need to do is to move on. Don’t try to convince her, or change her mind. Don’t say something witty, clever, or sarcastic. Don’t be rude, or angry, or bitter. Don’t harass, or insult, or stalk her. These are all signs of desperation and will only make you look worse. Instead, accept her no. Thank her for her honesty, and wish her well. Then, let her go, and focus on other women. There are plenty of fish in the sea, and you will find someone who likes you back.

Find out more about what you can do when a woman rejects you: What To Do When A Woman Rejects You

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