How To Get Out Of The Friendzone

In Depth Reading Time: 8 minutes
how do I get out of the friendzone

Have you ever watched those movies where a nerdy guy gets picked on all through high school but then shows up at the reunion as a completely different person?

He’s handsome, muscular, confident, and charming. Every girl wants to get his attention, especially the ones who ignored him before.

But who is this mysterious man?

It’s none other than the same guy who was bullied and stuck in the friendzone for years by those girls.

He has transformed himself. Now he’s the envy of other guys.

This may sound like a fantasy, but it can also happen in real life.

Curious why she said she only wanted to be friends? Click here: What is the friendzone?

You don’t need to be a guy with looks, wealth, and status to get out of the friendzone. You just need to follow some simple steps and change your mindset.

This article will show you how to do that and become the person you always wanted to be.

Unlock the Strategies

How To Escape The Friendzone

You need to follow these steps accordingly to escape the friendzone. It may take a few months, but the key is to be patient. It’s like playing a long strategy.

1. Accept that you’ve been rejected.

The first step to getting out of the friendzone is to accept that you’ve been rejected.

Yes, it hurts, but denial won’t help you.

So she told you that maybe you guys should only stay friends. But you don’t want that. What do you do?

Do you pursue her relentlessly, hoping that she will change her mind?

Do you shower her with gifts, compliments, and attention, thinking that she will see how much you care?

Do you text her every day, trying to keep the conversation going, even when she doesn’t reply?

If you do any of these things, you need to stop. Right now.

These are not the actions of a confident, attractive, and desirable person.

These are the actions of a desperate, needy, and clingy person. And trust me, she can sense that.

No amount of effort will make her change her mind…for now.

You need to accept the situation and respect her decision. Because believe it or not, there is a remedy to this. But you have to stop doing what you’re doing and start doing something else.

So what should you be doing?

2. Stop all communication.

Remember the movie scenario where there was a gap between high school and the reunion? You should do something similar.

Create some distance, both physically and time-wise.

So maybe no texts. No dates. No meet-ups, even if you’re just going out as friends.

If you can’t help it, and she’s maybe a co-worker or a neighbor? Just see to it that you don’t bump into each other.

It may not be possible to completely cut off communication, but you should still try to minimize it as much as possible.

Give it some time. It doesn’t have to be years, but it should be at least a few months. Not weeks.

Why do you need to do this? Because you want her to think of you.

You want her to wonder what happened to the guy pursuing her. You want her to miss you and be curious about you.

You want to create some mystery and intrigue.

But you can’t do that if you keep bothering her with texts, calls, or messages. That will only annoy her and make you look desperate.

So once you’ve accepted that you’ve been rejected, create some space.

This doesn’t mean that you’re giving up. On the contrary, you’re preparing yourself for the next stage.

You’re going to work on yourself and become a better guy. A guy who is confident, attractive, and interesting. A guy who is not just a friend but a potential lover.

3. Become a new you.

This means that you have to grow and improve yourself so that the woman will see you in a new light.

You have to show her that you are not the same guy who was stuck in the friendzone but a new and improved version of yourself.

How do you do that?

Well, there are many aspects that you can work on, such as your skills, your moves, your attractiveness, your confidence, your dating techniques, and your experiences.

You have to invest in yourself and become the best version of yourself.

You have to become the confident, attractive, and interesting guy. A guy who is not just a friend but a potential lover.

Let me give you some examples of how you can do that.

For instance, before, you used to shower women with gifts, thinking that’s the key to their heart. Yeah, it’s a nice gesture, but it isn’t really needed once she sees how great you are at being true to yourself.

So, instead of buying women gifts, you should show them your personality, hobbies, passions, and values.

You should make them laugh, challenge them, and inspire them. You should show them that you have something to offer besides material things.

Another example is that before, she used to see you as a scrawny guy who didn’t take care of himself.

You wore baggy clothes, had bad posture, and lacked energy. You didn’t exercise, eat well, or groom yourself.

 She didn’t find you physically appealing, and neither did you.

But now, you have started working on your body and your appearance. You exercise regularly, eat healthy, and dress well. You stand tall, smile, and radiate positivity.

You feel good about yourself, and it shows. She notices your transformation, and admires your physique, your style, and your vibe.

One more example is that before, you didn’t know how to flirt, and you acted like a friend.

You were too shy, too polite, or too friendly. You didn’t tease her or touch her in a sexual or romantic way.

You did show signs of interest and made some moves,  but it’s amateur hour. But now, you have learned how to flirt and act like a lover. You are playful, confident, and charming. You tease her, touch her, and compliment her.

Now she feels attraction. Now she feels the spark.

These are just some of the ways that you can become a new you. Of course, there are many more things that you can do, depending on your situation and your goals.

The point is that you have to change yourself for the better.

You have to become a guy who is worthy of her love and who can make her happy. You have to become a guy who is not just a friend but a lover.

4. Make her curious.

The next tip is to subtly show your interest without being too obvious.

It’s like those trailers for those movies that leave you wanting more. You search for theories and spoilers online to figure out what happens next.

After giving her some space for a few months or even a year or more, you can rekindle the connection by reaching out to her.

Chat or text or message her casually and ask her how she’s doing.

Tell her that it’s been a while. That you’re wondering what she’s been up to. And maybe glad to hear from her again if she replies.

Then, sprinkle some compliments and flirty remarks that make her blush or even bust her balls.

“You look great. Did you lose weight? Or did you just buy bigger clothes?”

“What sort of trouble are you causing?”

In her mind, you’re still friends, but you’re also making her curious and intrigued.

You haven’t done this while you were trying to pursue her before. That’s one of the factors why you got friendzoned. But now? You’re busting her balls. Now, you really got her attention.

Don’t do this too often, though. You want to keep her guessing and wanting more.

Tell her you’re busy with your own goals and passions, but you’ll catch up with her soon. Use subtleties to make you sound like a man with purpose.

This way, you’re showing her that you’re a confident and ambitious man who has a lot to offer.

After a while, she’ll be the one who initiates the conversation and asks you out.

5. Let her pull the trigger.

If you’re successful in creating curiosity playfully through teasing in messages and chats, she’ll start missing your company.

When women want to be with you, they won’t tell you directly. They’ll give an excuse. That’s why you need to watch out for these. You need to be attentive. When it happens, you have to seize that opportunity.

But maybe she’s the conservative type and not even giving you a hint to ask her out. When you think it’s the right time, just casually suggest hanging out without making it sound like a date.

You asked her out on a date before. You got turned down. Don’t make the same mistake.

You could ask if she’s up for grabbing coffee or just chilling out. Keep it relaxed and fun. No pressure for anything romantic.

Instead of asking for a date directly, focus on enjoying each other’s company. For example, if she mentioned wanting new shoes, suggest casually browsing some together at a nearby store, just for fun.

Any reason for you guys to get hanging, but don’t call it a date. You will find something. But of course, make it enjoyable for her time.

On that day, take it easy. No need for any bold moves. Keep up with the playful flirting and teasing, just like messing around as pals. No need to gauge her reaction too much.

Just joke around with her in a friendly way. Show her you’ve evolved from the guy she initially friendzoned by being more confident and easygoing.

I remember an occasion when a girl unexpectedly and suddenly leaned in and kissed me passionately while we were sitting in the car.

I never made any moves, but her attraction was through the roof. She wants it crazy.

Then, another girl forcefully asked me to come over because she had prepared dinner and didn’t want it to be wasted. She only made an excuse just so she could sleep with me.

If you do the third stage right, you don’t have to make a lot of effort to get women to be naughty with you. They’ll do it on their own.

All you have to do is show up. Be there. And she’ll be the one wanting you. They’ll be the ones making all the moves, making it easy for you to escape the friendzone. She’ll be the one to get you in bed.

Try It Now

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