Do you feel like you are getting too old to be a virgin? You are not alone.
Many men in their 20s and 30s and even later years have not had sex yet.
All your friends are getting girlfriends, married, or maybe casually sleeping with different women. But you. You still aren’t getting lucky.
You may feel pressure from your friends or even from yourself. The thing is, there’s no set timeline to get rid of your V-card. But there are ways to bring sex much closer.
Don’t worry; there is nothing wrong with being a virgin. If you are in your teens and early 20s, you should not even worry. You’re too young. You will have your chance. Just be open to opportunities.
If you want to have sex for the first time, you need to be ready. First, prepare yourself. Then, find a woman who can be with you in every step.
It’s okay. We know you haven’t figured it out yet. So, we’ll share some tips and advice to make your first time more enjoyable and less stressful. Let’s take a look at them.
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A Guide to Having Your First Time Sex as a Man
Contents
1. You are not missing out.
It’s entirely natural and expected to be curious about sex. You’re always thinking about it, wanting it, and even dreaming about it. But it’s not something you have to rush into.
Don’t force it. Don’t let the social pressure about other people’s sex lives influence your choices.
I mean, every one of your friends is getting a girlfriend. Why not you, right?
Being a virgin may feel like a big deal when everyone else seems to be getting it, and you aren’t.
When you decide to have sex and lose your virginity, make sure it’s because you want it. Not because society tells you to. Not because you’re feeling pressured.
Don’t believe that being a virgin means you’re not a man. Or being a virgin means you’re a loser. Your value as a man doesn’t depend on whether you’ve banged a girl or not.
Yes, sex is good. You want it. But you don’t want to be forcing it. I mean, when there’s opportunity, seize it.
Don’t feel like you need to have sex because everyone around is bragging about how much sex they’ve been having. Don’t make stupid decisions just because of social pressure.
Sex is amazing, pleasurable, and undoubtedly enjoyable. But it’s something you could survive with. It’s fun and fantastic but a regular thing for people. There’s nothing magical about it.
2. Be in the right headspace
Where are you right now?
Before you think about losing your virginity, you need to check in with yourself. How are you feeling mentally?
Are you doing it because you genuinely want to or feel pressured by others?
Are you feeling desperate or lonely because you think you’re missing out on something? Because all other guys are getting girls while you’re being left out lonesome.
Are you struggling with self-confidence or self-esteem? Maybe you are feeling insecure because you can’t talk to girls or hold a conversation.
These are substantial questions to ask yourself because your mindset matters a lot.
Women can sense it if you’re not in a good place mentally. You need to be fun, cheerful, and optimistic. Not gloomy, lonely, desperate, and depressed.
So before you pursue sex, make sure you’re in the right headspace.
Take care of yourself first. Exercise, eat well, and have a healthy attitude. Don’t base your self-worth on whether you get girls or not. You’re fine as you are.
Put yourself first in the right headspace. Get yourself together first. Workout. Eat the right food. Do what needs to be done with your academics, career, friends, and hobbies.
Have a healthy outlook that you’re alright even if you don’t get girls.
3. Set a Goal, but don’t be desperate.
If you want to lose your virginity as a man, you can set a goal for yourself, but don’t be desperate.
Women can sense desperation, neediness, and clinginess.
They will be turned off if they feel that you only want sex from them and nothing else.
The best way to approach this is to be calm and confident. Don’t compare yourself to other guys who are “getting it.”
You don’t have to rush into anything. If you act desperately, you will only push women away and make yourself unhappy.
Setting a goal is a reasonable way to motivate yourself, but ensure it is realistic and achievable.
Saying that you will lose your virginity by the end of the year is a big and vague goal.
You don’t have control over when and how it will happen.
A better goal is to say that you will try to approach at least one attractive woman daily, either in person or online.
This way, you are taking action and improving your social skills. You are also increasing your chances of meeting someone compatible with you.
You can also dedicate some time of your day to browse dating apps or websites and chat with women who interest you.
Don’t be afraid to initiate conversations and ask them out. Be respectful, honest, and confident.
Remember, you are not looking for sex. I mean, you are. But not desperately. So let’s approach it in a good way.
4. Do it with a girl you like.
This doesn’t mean you must be in love with her, but you should at least find her attractive.
You don’t have to wait for the “right” girl or the girl of your dreams because there’s no such thing as a perfect girl.
It could be a girlfriend, who might also be a virgin. That would be ideal because you can support each other and share the experience.
Or it could be a friend who you trust and feel comfortable with.
The important thing is to be relaxed and confident with the girl you choose.
If something embarrassing or awkward happens, she won’t judge you, and you won’t feel bad about it.
Another important thing is that she should be able to arouse you. She should be appealing to your eyes and your senses.
5. Older women can be more willing
Some older girls are willing to help you. It’s how some guys got their firsts. And mine, too.
It doesn’t matter if she’s a year older or even older. Some older women are more experienced and willing to have sex with younger and inexperienced men.
So what can you do? Play the nice guy. Not a nice guy stereotype that women don’t like.
Be the genuine nice guy who just so happens to be a virgin.
You’re respectful, sweet, gentleman. You have the qualities that all the other girls are looking for—just a virgin. If you’re that, most girls would sweep that virgin thing under the rug and give you a chance.
So, who could these older women be? They can be your older siblings’ friends. Even your parent’s friends. A Milf whom you find hot. Your friends could even introduce you to other older women.
Girls like sex, too. And if they see you as an innocent guy. Genuine, sweet, kind. If you’re not an asshole, then they’ll give you the experience. Why? Because you’re not a jerk douchebag that will brag about it to their friends.
So when there’s an opportunity with an older girl, seize it. Just communicate to her the truth that you’re a “virgin.” Don’t directly tell her.
Say something like, “You don’t have any experience yet.” But in a cool vibe manner. Not desperate.
Then, be sweet, respectful, kind, and genuine.
Did I mention that it’s how I got my first kiss? And lots of firsts, too, if you know what I mean.
6. You’ll need to prepare a place.
This is the key. Once you get a girl to a place where the two of you are alone, sex could happen.
If you’re reading this and don’t have a place, get a room—a motel, but not something cheap looking, could do.
Are you still living with your parents? Time it when no one is home.
If you have a car, that could do too. But sex inside a vehicle is too difficult to navigate.
If you’re in a dorm, ask your mate to get out for a while.
Or maybe she has a room too, so do it there.
The point is, get a room and a bed. If a guy and a girl who likes each other are stuck in a room, they would make out. Then, soon, they could be having sex.
Choose a place that is private and comfortable for both of you. You don’t want to be interrupted or disturbed by anyone else and want to feel relaxed and cozy.
Make sure the place is safe and clean. You don’t want to risk getting an infection or a disease from a dirty or unsafe environment.
You don’t want to do it on some bushes in the park or in some toilets. Or some abandoned areas. Really?
So prepare as you can to get a room and a bed. Something private, comfortable, safe, and clean.
Check out these resources below.
7. You may not even get hard.
Losing your virginity can be a nerve-wracking experience.
You might feel anxious about how it will go and how it will affect you. You might have researched and prepared yourself but still feel overwhelmed when it happens.
Things might not work out as you expected, like having trouble with getting or keeping an erection.
Don’t worry; these are normal emotions and reactions, and you are not alone. Don’t let this make you feel ashamed.
This is why choosing the right girl is significant.
You want to pick someone who makes you feel at ease and understands you. Talk to her and be honest about what’s going on. Tell her what you’re feeling.
Let her know what’s happening. Express your concerns and communicate them to her honestly.
“I’m feeling a bit nervous. My heart is pounding, and I can’t get my member up to performance. I like you, and I want to give you a good time. Can we slow down a bit and try again later?”
Remember. It’s perfectly normal to encounter sexual challenges, especially if it’s your first time.
A willing partner who knows and understands what you’re going through and is ready to listen helps.
8. Don’t be in a hurry.
Take it slow. You’re already in the bedroom with her. Don’t make sudden moves that would make her uncomfortable, anxious, or scared. Slow it down.
So what can you do?
Start by making out. Making out is a gradual way to ease more into intimacy. It sets the stage for a more enjoyable sex. You can even gauge how comfortable each other is about doing the deed.
Can you feel like she wants it more and more? Is she touching you more? Breathing heavy? It’s a good sign.
Give it a few minutes, and then maybe start undressing each other. Just do it calmly so nothing gets stuck. Like bras or panties. Or her shirt tangled with her hair, etc.
Then maybe ask her to give you a handjob. Sit back and relax while she gets her hands on you and you make out with her. Then perhaps she’ll move on to giving you a blowjob.
Then, do her a favor and do the same. Finger her or eat her out. Suck her boobs too.
If she’s not a virgin, at least give her a good time before you nut so fast, right? Because you will.
So slow down. Give her at least 5 to 15 minutes of foreplay. She will like it.
Get her so warmed up that she’ll be the one wanting your member inside her.
9. Have protection
Protection is critical when you lose your virginity.
You want to avoid getting or passing on any sexually transmitted diseases (STDs) or having an unwanted pregnancy.
This is especially true if you are a teenager, as teenage pregnancy can have many challenges and complications.
There is nothing to be ashamed of when you buy condoms. You should buy a lot of them and try different brands.
You can test them at home and see which ones fit you well and feel comfortable.
You should also read the instructions on how to use the condom correctly and safely.
Remember, better be prepared than sorry.
10. It might be her first time.
It may be her first time, too. So, things you could not control on your part could happen.
She may feel all sorts of emotions, which could have physical manifestations.
She might be too tense and unrelated, making her opening tight. And if you try to insert your dick, she can’t accommodate you. She may be feeling sore or painful.
It’s okay. Cuddle for a while. Laugh about it. Make her feel relaxed and comfortable. What’s important is you are both there for each other.
Then try again later or in another day. It’s okay. Be patient. You didn’t ruin anything. You’ll have your chance.
11. You will cum fast.
You will keep telling yourself to relax. Or to prepare as you need to satisfy the girl. Maybe you’ll try to edge to porn. But no matter what you do. You will ejaculate early.
One, two, or a few strokes in, you will cum.
It’ll be embarrassing. But it’s just the way it is. Your brain is telling you that, wow, you got your dick inside a vagina, time to do what your body and testicles are telling you—Bust inside her.
It’s just how it is the first time.
But here’s an exercise that could maybe help you. No guarantees.
No porn. No jerking off. Try to prolong having a boner for an extended period.
Remember, even if you do exercises that might prolong ejaculation, you might still orgasm early. It’s your first time; it’s natural. It’s a whole different feeling that your brain and her vagina are giving you.
Another thing that you can do is work out and have proper nutrition. Sex will make use of your energy, so you want some stored up. Do some cardio and lift weights. Eat good food. Lots of greens, fruits, meats. Nothing processed.
Do all that you can to prepare to prolong. But also prepare if you come early.
12. It’s either underwhelming or amazing.
First-time experiences are frequently perceived as lacking or mediocre because, let’s face it, there is a learning curve. You may find yourself unsure of the proper moves, lacking stamina, struggling with the appropriate words, and occasionally stumbling through positions and foreplay.
However, it is critical to recognize that this is part of the journey. The first times are a learning experience for everyone. It’s like entering uncharted territory; you may not have everything figured out immediately.
It is usually bland or bad the first time because you don’t know what you’re doing. No moves. No stamina. No words. Positions. Sometimes, even foreplay.
On the flip side, the first time can also be an extraordinary experience, especially when shared with someone you’re genuinely crazy about.
And also, you can get to brag to your friends that you’re no longer a virgin. And at least you’ll no longer die a virgin.
Connecting with a woman on a deeper level can turn the encounter into an intense and memorable moment.
So, as you prepare for this experience, remember that it’s a journey with ups and downs, and every step contributes to your growth and understanding. Whether it’s a bit awkward or absolutely fantastic, it’s all part of your unique story.
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