What To Do After the First Date?

In Depth Reading Time: 10 minutes
what do you do after a first date

After a great first date, you might be wondering what to do next.

Should you text her right away, or wait a bit? You don’t want to seem desperate, right? Or you want to make her want to miss you, of course.

When it comes to texting after a date, opinions vary. Some people think it’s needy, while others find it respectful.

Personally, I like to shoot a text to show you care and keep the connection alive.

You don’t need to flirt or gush about how great the date was or how awesome she is. Just a simple message to keep things civil and show you’re still interested.

After your date send her a simple casual message as soon as possible. No games, just a quick check-in to show you care. Avoid mentioning wanting a second date or how great your date was. Keep it civil and considerate. Being flirty can come later.

These post-date follow-up messages, or “after-date check-ins,” are all about showing you care and maintaining that connection.

Send it soon after the date, no need to wait for hours.

There’s no need to play games or hint at wanting a second date. Right now, you’re just being civil.

After a couple of hours or so, you can go back to being charming and flirty. That is if she’s into you.

These messages can also help you gauge her interest.

If she seems into you, don’t be too eager. Wait a day or two before following up again for a second date.

Even if you’re not sure about her feelings, it’s still a good idea to reach out.

Remember, this follow-up is just about being civil. Maybe she’s not feeling it, and that’s okay. You can discuss that later.

Now, let’s break down how you can go about these post-first-date communications.

What’s the Right Move After the First Date?

what should I do after a first date

1. Assess Your Feelings and Expectations

First, ask yourself why you went on a date with her. Are you looking for something long-term or just a casual fling?

It’s important to know your feelings and intentions, even during the date.

Do you see her as a potential romantic partner, or are you not feeling it? Maybe she could be a fuck buddy?

If you’re aiming for something casual, the night shouldn’t end with you alone in bed. Maybe she could be a fuck buddy, right? You should have tried to escalate things more.

But don’t worry, there’s always next time. Maybe she feels the same way. Reach out to her and ask what she’s up to tonight. Maybe you can hang out again that same night.

Check this out: How to invite yourself over to her place

If you’re not attracted to her romantically but you get along well and only see her as a friend, that’s great, too.

It’s okay to text her and chat about whatever. Since you’re not interested in her romantically, you can just be yourself and joke around without worrying about rejection.

On the other hand, if you do like her and want a second date, the approach might be a bit different. In any of these scenarios, it’s okay to text her.

By the way, if you just had a first date with a girl, it’s best to end the date with a kiss. If that didn’t happen, here’s a link on how you can do it: How to kiss on the first date

Now, let’s talk about what to do next.

2. When to text her

Should you wait a day or two not to seem desperate? Should you not text at all and make her text you?

When it comes to texting after a date, there’s no need to play games.

Text her as soon as you can, even while you’re on your way home or waiting for your Lyft.

In today’s world, everyone has a phone, so there’s no excuse not to text, chat, or call.

You can start by telling her to be safe going home, which you can do within 5-10 minutes after the date or after you part ways.

After that, wait for an hour or so to check in and see if she made it home safely or if you did.

Tell her to be safe going home, yes, you can text that 5-10 minutes after the date or after being apart.

Then, after that, maybe an hour or more, see if she got home safe, or if you got home safe, or if you told her you’d be going somewhere else, and vice versa.

There’s no need to wait days to text her. If you like her, let her know you’re interested.

Don’t worry about appearing too eager. Just be yourself and show her that you care. But be mindful not to overdo it and come off as needy.

So, when should you text her? As soon as you’re available. Don’t play games or try to appear busy. Let her know you’re there for her.

Now, what should you say? Let’s find out.

3. What to Text Her

After a first date, you’re probably wondering, “Should I text her?” The answer is a resounding yes.

Don’t leave her hanging, and don’t leave yourself in the dark either. She might be curious if you’re interested or if you’re just going to vanish into thin air.

So, what’s the move? Drop her a simple, “Hey, I just got home.”

This simple text shows you’re considerate and interested. Don’t overthink it or worry about seeming desperate. Just keep it civil and friendly.

This lets her know you’re thinking of her without putting any pressure on her to respond immediately. Whether she replies right away or the next day, just stay relaxed and don’t read too much into it.

Avoid going overboard with compliments or flattery. Keep the tone light and casual, like you’re texting a friend.

If she compliments you or says she had a great time, you can reciprocate but don’t force it. If she’s flirting, even better.

The goal of this text is to keep the communication going and show you’re interested in seeing her again. It’s not about having a long conversation right away. Just keep it simple and see how she responds.

If she replies positively, that’s a good sign. Now, after that, the conversation may go anywhere. But keep along.

I had this experience where a date shared something random she forgot to mention like how she spaced on picking up toothpaste from CVS before going home.

I told her something like, “Well, lucky for you, I have an extra set of them at my place. So, if you ever need emergency toothpaste. Let me know.” Then followed by emojis.

A simple text can lead to real conversation or even flirtation, and from there, who knows?

You can also reference something specific from your date to show you were paying attention and enjoyed her company. You can call this a callback.

On another date, we saw a scuffle down at the boardwalk. I shot her a text later about seeing a video of it on Reddit.

She couldn’t believe it. Said it was a rush getting out of there with me. That’s the kind of callback you want – something funny, exciting, or exhilarating. Something memorable.

Remember this though. After the first date, the ball is in your court. Don’t expect her to text you first.

Take the initiative and show her you’re interested in getting to know her better. It’s just how it goes – you gotta be the one to take the next step.

Just keep the conversation light and respectful, and avoid anything too sexual or inappropriate. Unless, of course, you’re already at that stage.

Keep it simple, keep it interesting, and whatever you do, steer clear of anything that screams “I’m a creep.” You’ve already gotten a date with her. Keep it classy, and you’ll have more.

4. Handling Potential Rejection

It’s important to be prepared for the possibility of rejection, whether you’re interested in a second date or not.

If you’ve texted her and she responds positively, that’s great. But if she lets you know she’s not interested in seeing you again, how do you handle it?

You send that casual “Hey, I got home” text, and she hits you back with the dreaded “Thanks, but I don’t think we should see each other again.”

Ouch, right? But here’s the thing – don’t let it knock you down. You’ve had one date, just one. That’s not enough to get all worked up over.

First of all, remember not to take it personally. You’ve only had one date, so it’s not worth getting upset or angry about.

Instead, see it as an opportunity to meet other women who may be a better fit for you.

Don’t get bitter or start begging for another shot. Don’t try to convince her to give you another chance or become desperate. This is likely to backfire and could lead to her blocking you.

If you want to try to win her back, it should be done slowly and with skill. If you’re not confident in your ability to do this, it’s best to respect her decision and move on.

Think positively and focus on finding someone who appreciates you for who you are. Think along the lines of “Yeah it’s okay. I’m not really into her. I could find a woman who appreciates me more.”

It’s okay to feel disappointed but don’t let it affect your self-esteem.

5. Handling Ghosting

Do you know what’s more upsetting than being rejected? Being ghosted. It can leave you wondering what went wrong and feeling pretty lousy.

After a date, I usually follow up with a message to see if she got home safely.

Some respond, some don’t.

If I don’t hear back, I might try again the next day with something light-hearted like a funny video or meme.

If she leaves me on read and still doesn’t respond, it’s okay to stop trying. No amount of messaging will change her mind.

Instead, focus on moving forward. It’s natural to feel disappointed, but dwelling on it won’t help.

Think of it as a learning experience and an opportunity to meet someone who appreciates you more.

It may feel like you’ve wasted some time and effort, but in the long run, it’s better to move on and find a hot girl who’s truly interested in you.

6. Avoid Overeagerness

If you’re interested in seeing her again, it’s important not to appear too eager.

The initial text should be simple and civil, just to keep the communication going.

Don’t rush into setting up another date, especially if she hasn’t shown the same level of interest yet.

 Give it a few days before bringing up the idea of a second date, unless she’s the one who initiates.

Another way to avoid coming across as too eager is to be mindful of how often you compliment her.

While it’s nice to compliment someone, overdoing it can make you seem insincere or even desperate. If you had a great first date, it’s okay to express that, but don’t overdo it.

When texting, go with the flow of the conversation. If she responds positively and initiates some chatting, that’s a good sign.

You can keep the conversation going, but try to end it on a high note, like when you’re both laughing or exchanging emojis. This leaves her wanting more and gives her a chance to miss you.

For example, you could say, “Hey, I have a long day ahead tomorrow. I really had a good time. Let’s catch up again tomorrow, okay? Good night :)”

This shows that you’re interested but also gives her space and time to miss you.

Follow up with her the next day or a few hours later, and she’ll likely be looking forward to hearing from you.

7. Follow-Up in the Coming Days

It’s important to follow up with her within a few hours or the next day.

If she’s responding quickly and flirtatiously, that’s a good sign. Now, it’s all about smoothly transitioning into setting up a second date.

Take your time in deciding when to ask her out again. It could be that same night or a few days later. Assess the situation and see if she seems available or if your schedules align.

Use the information you gathered throughout your first date and chats to your advantage.

Bring up topics or interests she mentioned to show you were paying attention and to make the invitation more appealing.

If she likes you, getting a second date should be easy.

Wrap Up

  • Assess Your Feelings and Expectations: Reflect on your experience and determine how you feel about the person and what you hope for the future.
  • Deciding When to Text: Timing is key. Wait a bit, but not too long, to show you’re interested without seeming desperate.
  • Crafting the Right Message: Your first text should be thoughtful and could also be a reference to a memorable moment from the date.
  • Prepare for Rejection: It’s possible she may not feel the same way, and that’s okay. Be ready to respond gracefully.
  • Handling Ghosting: If she doesn’t reply, it’s important to respect her space and not bombard her with messages.
  • Avoid Overeagerness: Show your interest, but don’t overwhelm her with too much attention too soon.
  • Plan the Follow-Up: Think about when and how you’ll reach out in the coming days to suggest another meeting.
Try It Now


| Posted

| Updated

| Under


Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

18 + thirteen =