How To Ask A Girl Out On A Date

In Depth Reading Time: 13 minutes
how to make a woman go out with you

Did you know that 40% of Americans use online dating platforms to meet potential partners? However, despite the popularity of online dating, most never meet in person.

This is why it’s now more important to know how to ask a girl out more than ever.

Whether you swipe right on Tinder, slide into DMs on Instagram, chat on WhatsApp, or even if you know her from somewhere else, chances are you will have to ask a woman out through the phone at some point.

But how do you do it without sounding too needy, boring, or creepy? And how do you avoid saying the wrong thing that could ruin your chances?

To ask a woman out, start by sparking attraction through flirting and intrigue. Learn her interests to plan a personalized date. Consider her schedule and gauge her willingness to commit. When the time feels right, confidently ask her out. Follow up on the date day to confirm details and show enthusiasm.

In this article, I will show you how to confidently, efficiently, and effectively ask a woman out through the phone. She will be wanting to meet you soon.

Following these steps, you can use your phone as a powerful tool to connect with women and get more dates. Discover good ways to ask out a girl that leaves a lasting impression and increases your chances of a positive response.

You don’t have to do everything else exactly step-by-step. But asking her out should definitely be the last step. After all, that’s the whole point of this article, right?

Unlock the Strategies

Asking a Girl Out

how to invite a woman to spend time with you

Asking a girl out can be a nerve-wracking experience. But with the right approach and a bit of confidence, you can increase your chances of success. In this guide, we’ll walk you through the steps to asking a girl out and offer tips on how to make the process smoother.

1. Ensure there’s attraction.

You don’t ask women out, out of the blue. The mistake most men make is being too eager to move the conversation forward. At least create a little bit of rapport.

She doesn’t know you. She may even think you’re some stranger danger.

So what do you do? At least let her get to know you a little. Share some info—joke about things. Talk about things.

Make sure there’s some attraction.

There needs to be at least a little bit of intrigue. Like there’s something about you that maybe she can check out. That’s what she should be thinking about.

Find commonalities. Maybe you live in the same area. Talk about stuff about that. Perhaps she likes something that you want. Talk about that.

Make her laugh. Make her smile. Flirt with her. Joke with her. Make her want to meet you. That’s the key.

So whether you approached a girl and got her number. Or someone you matched with online. And even if it’s someone you know that you’ve been meaning to ask out. At least make sure that there’s a clue of intrigue that she wants to hang.

Because if she doesn’t, you’ll end up rejected. Worse, she’s saying yes to you on a date, and then she’ll not follow through.

Read this more about gauging women’s interest toward you: How Do I Know If a Woman Is Interested in Me?

2. Don’t wait too long

Knowing if she is attracted to or interested in you is highly important. But you shouldn’t wait too long to ask women out.

Have you ever found yourself pondering when to ask her out? You might think waiting for the perfect moment is best, but that’s a common misconception.

One of the biggest mistakes guys make is hesitating to ask a girl out until it’s too late. Waiting too long means missing your chance to ask women out and having them say yes to you entirely.

While you’re waiting for that right time, some douchebag is going to steal your girl. bring her back to his place and play with her inside the bedroom. Now she’s having fun and you’re out of the picture.

If that’s not the worst-case scenario, consider this: Her interest starts fading the longer you ask her out.

Attraction will fade with time. Yes, you guys might have a fun and solid conversation, but without follow-up, it’ll die. So, when you realize you like a girl, it’s better to act sooner rather than later.

It’s understandable to be a little scared when asking a girl out. Consider what might happen, especially when you’re that infatuated with her.

What if she loses interest or someone else asks her out because you didn’t act fast enough? Could you imagine her having sex with another guy just because you’re too slow to ask?

The risk of not asking far outweighs the fear of rejection. Women can tell within the first minutes of meeting a guy whether they would date him. This means that if she’s inclined to say yes, she’ll probably know almost immediately.

Asking girls out early can only work totally in your favor. First, you have her attention. Work with what you have. And that is asking her out when you can.

She may say yes; even if it’s a ‘no,’ at least you have closure. If she’s not down, it’s cool—you know you gave it a shot and can move on without thinking if you lost your chance. Plus, you get some solid practice and boost your confidence for next time.

Hey, if you’re scratching your head about how to ask a girl out, keep it chill. You don’t need some epic pick-up line or a movie moment. Just be real with what you’re feeling.

So, if there’s a girl you’re interested in, don’t wait for a sign or a perfect moment. Take the next opportunity to ask her out. Even if the timing is slightly off, taking action is better than doing nothing.

If you have a girl in your mind and have her contact information or social, why not reach out now? It’s time to take that step.

3. Find out what she’s into

The best way to ask a girl out is to increase the chances of her saying yes and decreasing the chances of her saying no. How do you do that?

You need to find out what she’s into. You can do this by talking to her and paying attention to the clues she gives you. Even small bits of information can be helpful.

You don’t need to ask her to tell you more about everything. You can save some topics for the actual date so you don’t run out of things to discuss. But you should find out enough to understand what she likes and dislikes.

For example, you can ask her about her favorite food, drink, or music.

Or you can suggest something and see how she reacts. “Hey, what do you think of Froyos?” or “Do you like watching stand-up?” If she says yes or seems interested, you can use that as a basis for your invitation.

You can move on to something else if she says no or seems bored.

You can also find out what she’s into by looking at her hobbies, passions, or goals.

Maybe she’s into anime, and there’s an event nearby. Perhaps she loves books, and there’s a bookstore you can visit. Maybe she’s working on a project, and you can offer to help her.

These are all great ways to show her that you care about her interests and have something fun to offer.

And even if there are things she likes that you don’t, or vice versa, you can still use that as an opportunity to learn more about each other.

You can say, “I’ve never tried that before, but I’m curious to see what it’s like. Maybe you can show me sometime.”

This way, you can express your openness and curiosity and make her feel special.

So when you talk to her, find out what she’s into. You don’t have to go into too much detail, but you should get enough information to plan a date she’ll enjoy.

You don’t have to share too much about yourself either, but you should give her some hints that you have something interesting to offer.

This will make her more intrigued to meet you and more likely to say yes to your invitation.

4. Figure out her schedule.

The next two tips are another of the best ways to ask a girl out. This is crucial; skip this step and you’ll have a higher chance of getting rejected when asking women out.

One of the first things you need to do before asking a woman out is to figure out her schedule.

People have different routines and commitments depending on their jobs, hobbies, and lifestyles.

Some people work regular hours, while others have more flexible or unpredictable schedules.

For example, nurses, doctors, and firefighters may have long shifts, night shifts, or emergencies that affect availability.

You should not ask a woman out when she can be clearly preoccupied with tasks and obligations.

You can find out her schedule by asking her some simple questions, such as:

  • When do you usually get off work?
  • You’re working 9 to 5, correct?
  • Are you usually at the office Monday through Friday?

These questions will help you get a general idea of her schedule without being too intrusive or nosy.

You can also use them to start a conversation and show interest in her life.

Just remember to be respectful and polite, and don’t ask too many questions at once.

You don’t want to sound like an interrogator or a stalker. You want to sound like a potential date.

5. Determine her free time.

After you figure out her schedule, you need to determine her free time. This means finding out when she is available and willing to go out with you.

Her schedule doesn’t necessarily mean those are the times she is free.

She might have other things to do after work, such as relaxing, socializing, or pursuing hobbies. You need to factor in those things, too.

You can determine her free time by asking her some open-ended questions

  • When are you usually free?
  • What do you usually do after work?
  • Any plans this weekend?
  • Doing anything this weekend?

6. Check her willingness

The final step before asking a woman out is to validate her availability.

You know that she’s free on a specific day or time. That’s when you want to take her out.

Now, there’s very little chance for her to say no. Unless she really doesn’t dig you.

At this stage, you’re not really asking her out, just gauging her openness to an invite.

This is more like a courtesy than a necessity.

You already know her schedule and her free time. You know when she’s not working or busy. You also know what she likes to do or plans to do. So you have a good chance of picking a date that suits her.

But you still want to confirm her availability. Maybe she has a change of plans or mood. Perhaps she needs some time to think or prepare. You don’t want to assume anything or take anything for granted.

What do you say when asking a girl out? You ask her politely and casually something like:

  • You’re free tonight, right?
  • You’re not busy tonight, right?
  • You’re not doing anything Wednesday evening, right?
  • You don’t have plans this Saturday, right?

If she says yes, then you’re good to go. You can proceed to ask her out. If she says no, then maybe ask something like:

  • Oh, I didn’t realize you had other plans. What are you up to?

You have done your research, and you know she is free and has no other plans. Maybe you need to find out more about how she feels.

Maybe she is not in the mood to go out, but she likes you and is exhausted and low on energy.

If she gives you another option, then you can work with that. You can ask her if she has another time in mind.

You can take that as a sign that she’s not interested if she doesn’t. In that case, you can try again later or move on to someone else.

One more thing to remember. Finding out these things doesn’t have to be tedious.

You can do it while chatting about other things. And if you ask them all at once, it won’t take her long to answer.

Just ask them in a relaxed and friendly way, not like an FBI agent questioning a suspect.

7. Ask her out

Are you still wondering what to say when asking a girl out? Now that you have all the information and factors, it should be easy to ask her out.

You have reduced the chances of her saying no to you. You know when she’s free, what she’s into, and how she feels. There must be a solid reason if she rejects you after all that.

Asking her out is very simple. You can ask her out by making a clear and specific proposal, such as:

Him: Hey, you’re doing half day tomorrow, right?
Her: Yeah. What’s up?
Him: How about I pick you up and get some coffee at the place you mentioned… maybe 5ish?
Her: Yeah, that’s okay.
Him: Okay, I’ll text you when I’m on my way.

Or maybe something like:

  • How about we get some of that froyo you mentioned? You said you’re not doing anything Friday afternoon, right?

You have done your homework and prepared well. Ask her out direct, straight, and with confidence.

This will show her that you have listened to her and planned something fun and relevant for her. They will also make it easy for her to say yes or no without being vague or ambiguous.

After you ask women out on a date, of course, you want the date to happen smoothly. But what if she wants to bring a friend? What To Do When A Girl Wants To Bring A Friend On Your Date

8. Follow up on her.

The last thing you want to do before meeting up with her is to follow up on her.

This means sending her a quick message about two hours before the date. Something like, “See you later” or “Looking forward to seeing you”. Sometimes, I message something like, “I’m on my way” or “Take care along the way.”

Why do you need to do this? Because you don’t want her to flake on you.

Flaking means canceling the date at the last minute or not showing up at all.

If she’s thinking about flaking, she can tell you now. It’s enough time for both of you to adjust your plans. Maybe you’re still at home and haven’t dressed up yet.

If you don’t text or follow up and expect her to be at the meeting place, but she’s not there, that’s a huge disappointment. You wasted your gas, time, and effort for nothing.

So, follow up a little. Maybe she’ll reply, “Hey, I’ll be a bit late, still finishing something,” or “Sorry, I can’t make it; something came up.”

At least you’ll know what’s going on, and you can act accordingly.

Maybe you can wait for her or reschedule the date. At least you show her that you care about the date and are ready to go.

If she doesn’t respond to your follow-up message, don’t hope she’ll show up on the date. Save yourself from trouble and disappointment. Chances are, she’s either flaking, ghosting, or probably blocked you. Let’s hope that’s not the case.

Flaking means canceling the date at the last minute, and ghosting means cutting off all contact with you.

These behaviors are rude and disrespectful, and you don’t deserve that. You deserve someone who is honest and reliable and values your time and effort.

So if she doesn’t respond to your message, don’t waste your time waiting for her or trying to reach her. Just move on and find someone else who will appreciate you and your date. You’ll be better off in the long run.

You don’t want to get stood up. Here’s how you can avoid getting stood up by women: What To Do If You Got Stood Up By Women & How to Avoid Getting Stood Up In The First Place

Wrap Up

Asking a girl out can be challenging. You must know how to do it right to get a positive response and avoid rejection or flaking.

I hope I have shared tips, tricks, and good ways to ask out a girl on a date.

But don’t just take my word for it. Try it for yourself and see the results. Here are some actionable things you can do right now when asking a girl out.

  • Pick a woman you like and want to ask out. It can be someone you met online, offline, or already know.
  • Start a conversation with her. It can be a text, a call, or any medium.
  • Find out what interests her. Use my tips to determine her schedule, free time, and interests.
  • Don’t wait for the right moment when asking a girl out. Waiting can lead to lost opportunities and chances.
  • Ask her if she’s free on a specific day or time that suits her. Use the tips I gave you to make a clear, specific proposal that is fun and relevant for her.
  • Send her a follow-up message about two hours before the date. Use the tips I gave you to confirm her availability and enthusiasm.
  • Meet her and have a great time together.

Following these steps, you can use your phone as a powerful tool to connect with women and get more dates.

Try It Now

Be prepared on the first date. Here are some topics to talk about on the first date and the fun flirty first date questions you can ask women to get them interested.


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